Talking Movies

September 10, 2019

From the Archives: Top 10 College Movies

Another deep dive into the pre-Talking Movies archives dredges this up editorially requested piece from September 2007.

10 Chariots of Fire

People forget the importance of Cambridge in this film where future Olympian Harold Abrahams first silences anti-Semitic prejudice by doing the impossible; hurtling around the tight corners of the Trinity Quad in a 60 second sprint, as judged by the pealing of the clock tower.

9 Revenge of the Nerds

A key 1980s college movie Revenge of the Nerds had a joyously simple premise. Nerds go to college. Jocks kick nerds out of their house. Nerds fight back. Hilarity ensues.

8 Love Story

For any of you starting college as hopeless romantics it’s time to get real. The only relationship this preposterously successful 1970 Harvard romance will have to your experience is as perfect ironic viewing for a DVD night. All together now, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”.

7 Wonder Boys

Wonderfully offbeat whimsy about a Pittsburgh English Professor (Michael Douglas) who, for various reasons, is forced to deal with three different romantic entanglements, a dead dog and a depressed student (Tobey Maguire) who may be faking his woes just to have an excuse to hang out with him…

6 Starter for Ten

This far more realistic 2006 bittersweet British comedy sees awkward student James McAvoy torn between an upper class hottie and a working class activist in Thatcher’s Britain and trying to impress both by, of all things, getting a place on Bristol University’s team for University Challenge.

5 Old School

The film that finally made Will Ferrell a star sees Ferrell, Vince Vaughan and Luke Wilson start an off-campus frat house in an attempt to recapture their youth. Will Ferrell’s ‘perfect response’ in a debate they must win to avoid being evicted is a thing of genius.

4 Back to School

The film Old School wants to be sees millionaire Rodney Dangerfield start college to help out his flunking son. Watch out for the hilarious continuity humour of the celebrated diving scene where a sexagenarian Dangerfield (and a muscle bound stunt double) perform the Triple Lindy move.

3 Real Genius

Val Kilmer headlines a group of students studying physics in the pressure cooker environment of a college that is not MIT (tedious legal reasons…). The scene where Kilmer uses slices of frozen nitrogen as change for vending machines should be shown in Irish schools to promote chemistry.

2 Animal House

Nevermind the ‘plot’, just know that this film was the best cinematic showcase for John Belushi’s great comedic talent. If you are in college and you haven’t seen this madcap comedy then there is something wrong with you. Three words best describe Animal House: Toga! Toga! Toga!

1 Rules of Attraction

Over a semester at fictional Camden College an impossibly pretty bisexual love triangle plays out between James Van Deer Beek (Sean Bateman), Shannyn Sossamon (Lauren) and Ian Somerhalder (Paul) as the shadow of AIDS looms over the general debauchery. Pulp Fiction co-writer Roger Avary adapts Bret Easton Ellis’ nihilistic novel about Patrick Bateman’s brother to be shocking, romantic and hilarious.

Best Teacher

Donald Sutherland in Animal House. Who can resist his response to the utter boredom of his English class especially the indignant howl of the last two lines: “Don’t write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He’s a little bit long-winded, he doesn’t translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible. [Bell rings, students leave] But that doesn’t relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I’m waiting for reports from some of you… Listen, I’m not joking. This is my job!”.

Best Preparation for College

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Ferris is just helping out Cameron: “He has a lot of issues to work thru before he finishes High School. He can’t go to college wound this tight. His roommate will kill him!”

Best College

Barnett College. Don’t remember it? It’s where Indiana Jones taught archaeology in The Last Crusade. Now that’s a faculty and a half.

How Not to Apply to College

Orange County. This 2002 cult comedy sees Colin Hanks embark on a quest to convince Orange County University to admit him after his school accidentally sends the wrong transcripts.

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